in between dreams

THOUGHTS

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 06:47:22 GMT

Me : somehow ya... gue gak sabar gitu mau ngenalin dia ke bonyok gue� gak enak maen kucing-kucingan.

Shita : iya pastinya� emang nggak enak bener bu.

Me : udah gitu, dengan umur segini pula.

Shita : iya. makanya, jangan-jangan nyokap bokap loe nggak papa kalau diceritakan

Me : mentok-mentok ya.. gue mau bilang aja biarpun dia belom convert

Shita : gw setuju wit. toh kan itu pilihan dewasa. bukan sengaja nyari persoalan.

Me : iya sih... let me think deh... gue lama-lama gak tahan juga.

Shita : iya bener.

Me : gue cuma ragu di umur aja sih� pasti itu yang lebih jadi persoalan dibanding agama. mendingan gue ceritain dulu apa ngenalin dulu ya?

Shita : ceritain dulu. jadi kasih conditioning dulu nyokap bokap loe.

Me : haduuuuhhh...

Shita : suka nggak suka, jalan ini sudah elo pilih. wit, reality bites. just go with the consequences. toh ini kan juga pilihan elo sebagai orang dewasa. cinta nggak bisa milih dan kalian juga nggak nyari masalah. jadi jangan tunda2. berpikir strategis boleh, tapi jangan nunda-nunda.

Me : emang gue kesannya menunda ya?

Shita : nggak tau juga ya...

Me : gue cuma pengennya semuanya udah settle dan clear. jadi pas gue ke bonyok gue, udah ada semua jawaban.

Shita : kan gw emang berusaha menghormati keputusan orang lain, jadi gw ngerti posisi elo. coba aja untuk mengikutkan bonyok loe dalam solving the problems.

Me : jadi keliatan emang gue n dia serius. terutama dia ya.. karena umurnya muda banget, gue takut bonyok gue mikirnya dia gak serius. walopun umur sebenernya juga bukan jadi jaminan kedewasan seseorang ya.

LATE MESSAGE FROM SHITA

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 04:51:09 GMT

�Happiness is the consequences of personal effort�.  So be happy, now & always.
� sent from Frankfurt otw to Jakarta.

LAMARAN ADIKKU

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:09:53 GMT

Akhirnya� Adikku tersayang lamaran juga.

Alhamdulillah, lamaran berjalan lancar. Santai, tapi lancar.

Dan seperti biasa.. pertanyaan kapan dan siapa langsung berkumandang dimana-mana. Tapi sekarang menanggapinya udah bisa dengan senyum dan ketawa-tawa sambil bilang �tahun depan kok� (tapi kali ini bener-bener dalam hati bilang amin, amin, amin mudah-mudahan beneran terwujud).

Satu hal yang pasti, jadi makin nggak sabar untuk ngenalin dia ke keluarga gue. I know segala sesuatunya gak akan �semudah� apa yang adek gue lakuin sekarang tapi insya Allah bisa berjalan baik. Amin.

Jalanin satu-satu, biar ketika hari itu datang semuanya udah siap dan tinggal dijalanin aja. Amin, amin, amin.

(HOPE) IT'S HAPPENNING...

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:04:03 GMT

Him : Mumpung kita disini, mau liat dulu gak say, apartment nya? Harganya murah buat apartment. Emang sih tempatnya agak jauh tapi kapan lagi kita bisa dapet apartment dengan harga segini sekarang? Full furnish pula! Lagipula, ini bekas punya tante gue jadi amanlah. Paling enggak kita liat-liat dulu daerah sekelilingnya. Gimana?

Me : Ya udah, boleh. Nggak bisa liat ke dalem apartement-nya?

Him : No, my mom still has the key. Unless we'll go there and take the key?

Me : Jangan.. jangan.. Ya udah, kita liat sekelilingnya aja.

Him : Di situ, semuanya ada say.. Mau apa aja ada. Ada food court, laundry, mini market, warnet, refleksi, salon, apa aja deh. Lengkap pokoknya. Paling salah satu kelemahannya cuma parkirnya aja agak susah.

Dan melihat-lihatlah kita ke daerah sekitar apartment yang terletak di daerah pluit itu. Heemmm� walaupun masih agak susah menerima dengan lokasinya, tapi terus terang, tempatnya lumayan kok. Agak kayak Taman Rasuna, only lebih lengkap. Ok juga.

Him : What do you think? Ok kan?

Me : Iya sih, lumayan juga. Tapi tempatnya jauh banget yaaa.. I don't use to this area.

Him : Enggak kok, sayang. Gak jauh. Elo belom kebiasa aja. Kan ada tol. Lagipula, ini cuma 10 menit dari kos gue di Grogol. Ke bandara, cuma tinggal terus dan 15 menit udah sampe. You'll see ya, peratiin jalan deh. Nanti akan keliatan kok kalo it's not that far *dan mulai mengocehlah dia seperti salesman yang lagi jualan apartment*.

Me : Yah, ok..

Him : Great! I can't wait. I'll call my Mom and ask her to ask my auntie about the price and everything. Hopefully by September I can move to this apartment. I'm so excited. I'm getting a new house!!

Then he called his Mom and talk about the apartment.

Him : Done. Nyokap gue bakal ngomong sama tante gue. Biar dia yang nguruslah. Mengenai harganya and everything. Gak papa ya, say.. At least sekarang gue kerja jadi lebih focus mau dikemanain uangnya. Buat beli rumah! Sekarang, dari sisa uang gue yang udah gue setor ke nyokap tiap bulan, tinggal gue tambahin aja sisanya. Paling nyokap bakal nutupin dulu sisanya, tinggal gue nyetor ke nyokap setiap bulan kekurangannya. Paling sekarang kita harus lebih hemat aja soalnya duitnya kan buat nyetor apartment. At least I already have my own apartment. Gak papalah. Nanti kita ngumpulin duit lagi untuk beli rumah. Paling enggak kan udah punya apartment. Ada kemungkinan kita bakal tinggal di rumah gue di PIK secara rumah disana kan kosong. Uh, senangnya!!! Now you can tell your parents that I already have an apartment with my own money. Hehehehe..

Me : Of course dong, darling.. I'm gonna say all the nice thing about you so they can get their mind of the converting thing and the age difference thing. Hehehehe..

Him : Now that I have my own house, I can start saving for the ring.

Me : What? *sumpah, gue kaget. Walaupun pembicaraan emang udah serius dari awal tapi tetep aja mendengar hal itu bikin gue kaget. Gak nyangka aja it's so soon and it's really happening*

Him : Iya, dong. Apalagi? Udah mulai harus nabung dari sekarang. You want a nice ring, right? And you.. you have to start saving your money to buy us home theatre ya. I want flat TV. So we can watch the movie from our house with great TV and sound system. Pokoknya elo mikirin TV aja ya. Itu urusan lo deh pokoknya. Hehehe� Agree?

Me : Hehehehe... Ok deh.

Him : And you know.. We have to buy cook books. I always wanted to cook with my wife if I have a house. I heard it's cheaper if we cook for ourself. Is that right?

Me : Iyalah, pastinya. And I love the idea.

Him : Wuah, I'm so excited!!! You know what�. If we get married and you move here, then you can start to help me to work on my showroom. Bla.. bla.. bla..

I lost for words. I just give him a big deep hug and kiss on his cheek. Sometimes I can't believe that he's so young. But it makes me sure about him even more.

Satu hal yang membuat gue terharu adalah dia selalu menggunakan kata 'kita' di setiap halnya. Apartment kita, rumah kita, TV kita, makanan kita... Mudah-mudahan, ke depannya kita bisa ngatasin semua 'perbedaan' kita satu per satu ya, Babe.. So we can start to live our dreams together� Amin. I love you.

WHAT'S BEHIND THE TREND of WOMEN DATING YOUNGER MEN?

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 05:07:04 GMT

Mengambil postingan dari Neng Ecky di tanggal 16 Juni �08.

Nuhun Neng Ecky gue kutip postingannya yaaaa secara related banget sama pengalaman pribadi saat ini. Hahhahaa�

There appears to be a trend of older women dating younger men, notably illustrated by celebrity couples including Demi Moore and Aston Kutcher, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, and the most recent fling between 48-year-old Linda Hogan and 19-year-old Charlie Hill. According to a study of 50,000 women daters over 30, conducted by an online dating site in 2007, more than one-third of the subjects showed interest in men at least 5 years younger. And in 2003, an AARP survey revealed 34 percent of 3,500 women (between ages 40 and 69) dated men who are 10 or more years younger than themselves. This trend appears to be shocking to some people, but I don't find it so unusual.

Socially, there's a role reversal of sorts going on, women are more powerful now than ever before and may want men who are younger, and perhaps, more flexible; men who can handle it if the woman's career and lifestyle takes priority over their own. Media portrayals in "Sex and the City" (like movie characters Smith Jerrod and Samantha Jones) and "Desperate Housewives" are also showing women that dates don't have to be older. Women who have high-powered careers -- or a well-developed self-image -- are exercising more choice. Women who have been divorced and are established single moms may enjoy having a playmate, someone to have fun with; who doesn't try to control her.

Can these older woman/younger man relationships last?

I have seen many relationships succeed with this kind of older woman/younger man scenario. The media focuses on the age difference, but what really makes or breaks the relationship is how well the couple can form a partnership that works.

Age difference is an adolescent worry: When you're a teenager, an age difference of even two or three years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, for the young, the social reaction to such a relationship is often negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.

But, as you get older, life experience and emotional growth help to equalize your relationship skills and resources. A 10-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship.

Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, you have good communication and problem solving, and you love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem.

Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners. A 10-year difference is not too difficult to bridge, but a 20-year differences or more in age can lead to some difficulties as the partners get older. For example, the younger partner may mature and reconsider his or her choices, or an older partner may confront aging problems much sooner. But, as long as both parties are adult, and the couple has talked about their age difference and the future possibilities, I don't make judgments about their respective ages.

Dealing with the generation gap

There are healthy and unhealthy reasons to date someone of a different generation.
One inappropriate motivation for dating a younger person is fear of aging on the older person's part. A younger partner isn't going to reverse the aging process or protect you from old age. Obviously, a man or woman who dates someone as young as his or her children is going to run into some social opposition, but the differences that can cause the biggest problems within the couple's relationship are differing maturity levels.

As more and more women choose younger partners for relationships, the question arises: Are women in their late 30s and early 40s likely to be successful with partners who are 10 to 15 years younger than themselves?

Success in these relationships depends on what the motivations of both people are. Some older people feel younger at heart than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. Chronological age doesn't always reflect either physical capability or emotional maturity. Sometimes an age difference creates a mentoring relationship the older person advises the younger one on life or career. This can backfire if and when the younger person decides he or she has learned enough, and wants to move on.

If you're asking: "Is it OK for me to have a partner who is much older or younger than I am?" You'll do better off if you forget about your ages and concentrate on whether the relationship works for both of you, or not. What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection.

Jadi kesimpulannya? Semua tergantung dari niat dan connection dari awal serta tujuan akhirnya. Kalo emang yakin akan berhasil ya jalanin aja. Kalo niatnya baik, Insya Allah kebelakangnya juga baik kok. Amin.

Tapi buat masukan yang sangat baik adalah... Never say NEVER!!! Ketulaaaaahh.. Hahahaha...

UPDATES

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 04:36:34 GMT

Wah, udah lama juga ya gak isi blog lagi. So many things to tell..

Finally, I have someone by my side. Walaupun it won't be easy with him but somehow I'm sure that things will be all right eventually. Insya Allah. Akhirnya juga bisa cerita rasa bahagianya ke my dearest best friends setelah selama ini disembunyiin dulu dari mereka. Asli, gak enak banget itu rasanya!! Tanggapan yang gue dapet cukup membuat gue lega. Ternyata gak se-shock yang gue bayangin walaupun gue yakin pertama gue cerita pasti rata-rata pada jatuh dari kursi dulu. Hehehehe�

Aniwei, thanks for all your love n understanding, friends� I really need you guys. The support n all. I just hope everything will be all right eventually. I'm gonna need you guys definitely if I have to go thru the bumpy roads.

Cuma ada 1 hal yang cukup mengganggu. It's still too early to tell. Mudah-mudahan yang gue duga ini cuma perasaan gue doang. Kalau memang bener yaaa.. maybe I have to try to accept it. Mungkin sesuatu perubahan yang terjadi akan berpengaruh dengan membuat perubahan lain yang kurang menyenangkan. But again, maybe I just have to accept it sebagai 'konsekuensi' dari apa yang sudah terjadi. Consequences of decision.

Finally juga, pindah kerja!!! Hahahaha� Hope this job would be ok ya. At least untuk some part udah lebih baik lah dari yang sekarang. Hehehe� Mudah-mudahan ke depannya baek-baek aja. Pada saat yang hampir bersamaan juga, pacarku pindah kerja dan Wenni sahabatku pindah kerja juga. Wah, kita bener-bener terlalu sama nih, Wen. Yang pasti bakal ada sedikit kesibukan di awal-awal kerja buat adjustment. Yuk, kita sama-sama saling support ya .

I love you best friends!!! Can't thank you enough to have you by my side. Alhamdulillah..

IS EVERYTHING GONNA BE ALRIGHT?

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:47:20 GMT

I just want you close where you can stay forever
You can be sure that it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry cause everything's gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

When the rain is pouring down and my heart is hurting
You will always be around

This I know for certain
You and me together through the days and nights
I don't worry cause everything's gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try try to divide
Something so real
So till the end of time I'm telling you that

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

THE BURDEN FINALLY OFF ME

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:54:25 GMT

"Hey You, I'm glad we were having 'the conversation'. Thank you for being so open, casual and cool about this. Makes me sooo relief. Hope everything gonna be just fine between us. Thanks yah."

It's normal for me to feel sad, disappointed or down. Bu overall, I feel so relief. At least now everything is clear. I know how he feels, what to do and what I should do. Hope I really can start to go on and find a new path�

GLOOMY

Sat, 31 May 2008 15:50:43 GMT

Baru aja kelar dinner "perkenalan" dengan keluarga "calon" adek gue. Adekku tersayang ingin menikah. Wah, akhirnya terwujud juga keinginan bonyok gue untuk segera menikahkan anaknya. Hehehe... Niat ini udah lama sih diomongin sama adek gue. Dan sejujurnya, gue dan kakak gue sama sekali nggak berkeberatan dengan "dilangkahi" oleh adek gue. Fine by us. We are happy for him.
Tapi sekarang kok perasaan gue jadi aneh. I thought i'm gonna be just fine. Tapi ternyata... abis kelar dinner kok jadi gloomy gini rasanya. Don't get me wrong... I'm so happy for my brother. I really am. It's just me... Semuanya jadi berbalik ke diri gue sendiri aja. Jadinya soooooo many things in my mind. Pikiran jadi kemana-mana. Ngalor-ngidul nggak jelas. Sampe Candy aja ikut kepikiran. Padahal, masih jauuuuuuuuuhhhh banget.
Hah! Gak seru nih... Akhir-akhir ini gue lagi over sensitif. Gak tau kenapa. Sampe posting ini aja mata gue berkaca-kaca. BLAH!

APA SIH???

Mon, 26 May 2008 15:11:35 GMT

Me : I thought i could see you before you go...
Candy : Ooohh, come on... I only go for a week, not like i go for a long time...

I know. I know. It's my hormon's speaking. Goddamn PMS! Ugh! I get over sensitive even for small thing. See? I miss you already...